Their catchphrase was “Deliciousness that makes you hard”.
A wiener coloured with ketchup and mustard.
Gently packed between wheaten bread with fresh salad decorated.
—–One hotdog, 198yen.
I was on my way back from the Doujo.
Attracted by the majestically displayed hotdog, I bought one without hesitation, seeing as I was a bit hungry anyway.
For some reason, the girl at the counter blushed while she put the hotdog into a bag with the words “One deliciousness that makes you h-hard”.
Hearing the words, “Thanks for your purchase” behind me, I left the shop.
Putting the bag with the hotdog in the basket at the front of my bicycle I was about to ride back home, when I suddenly came to a realisation.
That, if I took the hotdog home like this, my little sister Nazuna wouldn’t stay quiet about it.
I imagined Nazuna occupying the living room, absorbed in a game with cats in a fierce fight.
As it stood, today she had no club activities and was in a good mood, saying “Today I‘m a cat. Meow“.
I thought to myself that this wasn‘t just today, but she‘s always a cat, but I better keep that to myself.
The problem was what kind of reaction Nazuna would show, when I came home with my hotdog.
I was sure Nazuna would definitely want that hotdog.
It was her, after all.
Even if I didn‘t share it with her, I was sure she would say “You can at least give me a piece of the salad~” with a sad expression on her face while crying in meows.
“….She‘s a real cry-baby.”
Mumbling that and letting out a sigh, I left the hotdog in my bicycle basket and went back to the store to buy one for Nazuna too.
I bet she would be happy even with something as small as a hotdog.
While imagining her throwing up both her arms and screaming “Yay~” with a big smile on her face, I got back to my bicycle, but…
“Mpf, mpf, mpf”
What was that?
As it seemed, someone was eating a hotdog in front of my bicycle.
Looking into the basket of my bicycle, revealed just the sorry, empty bag of the store, with no traces of the hotdog left.
Where did my “deliciousness that makes you h-hard” go?
Shocked, I approached my bicycle and once again looked at the strange person still eating the hotdog.
Maybe a foreigner?
Brilliant silver hair tied up into twin tails.
Skin white as snow.
Big pupils as red as a ruby.
Facial features and a small frail build that reminded me of some western doll.
The yellow hoodie she wore was too big for her, maybe the size didn‘t fit.
She might have been one or two years younger than me.
She looked like she was 15 or 16.
A girl with crimson eyes and silver hair.
In my head I recalled the word Albino.
The albino girl was devouring the hotdog with a cute smile on her face.
A heart-warming scene like when you think of small animals—- would be what I normally thought.
“That was good.”
After having eaten my whole hotdog, the girl placed her hands together with an expression that she still hadn‘t had enough.
With a smile, I called out to the girl.
“Yo, lovely girl. How about a drink after the hotdog?”
“Mh? Sure. How considerate, thanks.”
She faced me and seeing my smile, she froze.
“Okay, drink as much as you want. I‘ll make blood-red tomato juice right now.”
“Right now? How…?”
The girl slowly retreated, but I didn‘t let her.
I grabbed her arm tightly.
“Hey, where does the ingredient plan to go to?”
“I- In- Ingredient!?”
With an evil laugh, I rolled up the sleeve of the girl’s clothes, who was shaking in fear.
Doing so, revealed her snow-white skin.
It was so beautiful, that I was captivated.
A small and soft arm.
I felt her warm body-temperature on my palms, but I wouldn‘t be stopped with just that.
Getting all pumped up, I wrung her arm lightly like a wet piece of cloth.
Immediately a scream, “Uwaa~” came out of her mouth.
“I- It hurts. It really hurts! Nothing will come out! Even if you do this, nothing will come out!”
“Don‘t give up! Don‘t you give up now! Why give up now? Try a bit harder! You can do it! You can! You definitely can do it!”
“R- Really? Okay, come! Bring it on!”
Cheering her on with my passionate acting, the girl also got into the spirit and shouted that.
…..Of course there was no change.
“You lack spirit.“
Mercilessly saying that, I wrung her arm again.
“No, it‘s impossible! It‘s not a problem of spirit. Aww. Aww. It hurts! I‘m sorry. Forgive me. Rather than world peace, love thy neighbour that‘s right in front of you!”
I didn‘t quite get it, but it sounded funny, so I let go.
“Heh. Be grateful that you‘re so beautiful. Normally I would have punished someone like you with dragging you through the town behind my bicycle.”
“B- Beautiful…? H- Hey, stop that. You‘re embarrassing me.”
Said the girl, embarrassed with her flushed cheeks.
“…Besides, why did I have to suffer that? My arm really hurts, you know?”
With the words, “Look at this“, she raised her right arm up to her shoulder.
I saw that her white skin, had indeed gotten bright red.
But, “Give it a rest already or do you want me to turn your white butt red next?“
“Now it‘s s- sexual harassment! I might be really kind-hearted, but even I get angry if I get lectured for no reason!”
The girl puffed her cheeks in anger.
It seemed this idiot really didn‘t understand the situation.
I thought about wringing her left arm next, but her teary eyes stopped me.
What a troublesome girl.
Guess I had no choice but to explain it to her from scratch.
“Say, you ate the hotdog that was in there, right?”
I asked that while pointing at my bicycle.
“It was really good!”
She replied in an energetic tone.
“I bought that you know.”
Said the girl again, with an energetic tone and a big smile while innocently holding out her hands.
Her smile was so lovely that I was captivated again.
But, so what.
“Don‘t kid me.”
Needless to say, I chopped her on the head.
“O- Oww! But this isn‘t all that bad.”
Unconsciously, I backed off one step, but after coughing once I continued.
“A- Anyways, you ate my hotdog. You’re deeply guilty.”
“Eh? Was it that bad?”
“Yes. As deep as the Marina trench.”
“Is that deep enough to crush your collarbone?”
I wasn‘t so sure about the norms of depth, but I nodded anyway.
The girl reacted with a “Mhm” and crossed her arms.
“Then I‘ll forgive that sin.”
What an ego.
“Then I shall judge that sin.”
“Then I ask thy, is hunger a sin?”
I extended my forefinger and middle finger and drilled them into the girl’s right arm.
“U-Uwa~ That stings!”
Hitting her already red arm seemed to have the same effect as a cut and she was jumping up and down while holding her arm.
“W-What are you doing!? What are you going to do if that becomes a habit!”
I couldn’t care less about it, so when I answered like that, the girl slowly drew closer to me.
“Mh, when it becomes a habit, then I can have you take responsibility?”
And with a slightly flushed face she said “I wouldn’t be all that against it” and started to draw circles with her finger on my chest. Every time her long and slender finger finished a circle on my chest, the warmth of her fingertip gave me a little shock.
But looking at the girl who switched from drawing circles on my chest to poking my cheeks, I was certain.
She wasn’t reflecting at all.
It looked like one more punishment was needed. Just when I started swinging my arm for a second attack on the girl’s arm,
—Growl, I heard a stupid sound from her stomach.
In an instant, the girl lost all her strength, slumped down and just sat right there.
Looking down at her while at a loss for words and being cautious, the girl fiercely raised her head and glared at me.
“What are you saying to a girl!? I’m going to get angry! I’m hungry!”
“Just starve to death”
Having been so ruthless again, I pulled out the hotdog that I bought for Nazuna from the bag in my left hand and displayed it to the girl.
“Want it? But of course, I’m not giving it to you.”
“Would you change your mind if I let you touch my breasts once? Twice is okay too.. no wait, you get three times!”
“….Just how straight forward can you be”
Looking into the serious eyes of the girl begging me, made my anger drop like a ship riding on the air.
I let out a little sigh and handed her the hotdog.
“C- Can I really have it?”
I nodded and said “Yes.” to her, whose eyes turned to stare at the hotdog.
A smile blossomed on her face.
Good for you. Had you been a guy, your face wouldn’t be recognisable anymore now.
Looking at her gorging on the hotdog, I let out another sigh.
Aw, I was sure Mum would call me docile again for this.
Somehow I was starting to feel regret, so I reached out my hand to her head and like you pat a dog, I started to pat her head, “Good girl~ Good Girl~” Her silver hair was fine and soft.
She was so absorbed in eating the hotdog that she didn’t resist. While continuing to pat her hair, I suddenly began to wonder what kind of shampoo she has been using.
“Thank you. It was delicious.”
The girl had finished the hotdog and had a big smile on her fa—–Growl. Her stomach rang again.
“….No, it’s not like that.”
In this awkward situation where she couldn’t say anything, she started to shake her hands with a serious face in an attempt to convey her feelings.
“I don’t know what you mean by that, but just how hungry can you be? Are you eating your breakfast properly everyday?”
I asked that while rustling through her hair.
“….The last time I ate was three days ago, I think? Usually I go by with eating mist.”
She answered in a tragic voice that gives you goose bumps.
“….Want to go fetch some lunch?”
I was feeling sorry for her, so I proposed that, but..
“Mh? You’re hitting on me? I don’t mind, you know.”
I had nothing more to say. I turned around and headed towards my bicycle.
“W- Wait! Please wait! Don’t abandon me~”
And she hugged me tightly from behind. Though they were a bit small, there were certainly two soft things pressing hard against my back.
Argh, that was foul play.
When we arrived at a nearby family restaurant, she must have been really hungry. She ordered three things and was stuffing herself with the dishes once they arrived, with a satisfied smile on her face.
On the other side, I only had a glass of water. It was the result of taking a peek into my wallet.
I wondered what I was doing. My endless good-will made me want to sigh, but looking at her happily eating her salisbury steak made me forget all misfortune. “Mh? You want a bite? Ah~” She said with a piece of salisbury steak pierced on her fork pointed at me. Taken aback I answered “You have a rice grain sticking on your cheek, you know?”
“Don’t mind it.”
“No, I do mind.”
“Whatever, here, Ah~”
While taking the offered salisbury steak, I also took the rice stuck on her cheek away. She was like a kid, geez.
….Ahm? A sudden warm feeling on my fingertip. I let my vision fall towards my hand and… the finger I had used to remove the rice was in the small mouth of the girl.
“Shat’s not thue.”
“Don’t talk with a person’s finger in your mouth.”
Her soft and warm lips enveloped my finger and her tongue was licking it.
I pulled my finger out of her mouth, thinking it was actually somewhat erotic.
After licking up the rice grain with a big smile and a “Yummy”, she reached out for the fries and spaghetti which were left on the table.
I looked at her with a forced smile.
Looking up close, she was a really cute girl with long eye-lashes and a well-ordered lineament.
She would be unrivaled if she wouldn’t talk… Well, seeing her eat so happily also had its charm. I was gazing at her without pause. And when the girl said “Thanks for the food” by clapping her hands together satisfied, I started to speak.
“You fell for it. If you want me to pay for that food here, you have to listen to what I say…Nah, just a joke. Don’t make such a shocked face. It’s my treat.”“I- I see. That surprised me. I was so surprised, I thought my heart would start to beat!”
“Mhm~ So, what’s your name?”
“Ignored? You just ignored my gag? Was it too difficult for you? You know, normally your heart is already beating—”
“No need for weird explanations. It won’t get us anywhere.”
I cut into her speech.
“By the way, my name is Nanjou Shinobu. It’s my dream to be called “Shinobu~” by a cute girl.”
“Hey, Shinobu~. How do you think we look to others right now?”
“So, your name?”
“Ignored? You ignored me again? When I specially fulfilled your dream….”
After she mumbled some complaints, she puffed her chest and answered.
“Fine. I’m a Goddess!”
“…..Should I call an ambulance?”
Aww, she was such a poor girl.
“D- Don’t look at me with such pitying eyes! It’s the truth!”
“Sure, sure. Then I’ll call you Idiot, because Goddess is a bit hard to say out aloud.”
“Then hotdog thief. But that’s too long, so I’ll shorten it to dog.”
Guess she didn’t like it, because she stretched out both her hands and growled at me. One hell of a mad dog.
“So, what should I call you?”
Crossing her arms in thought, the Goddess answered.
“El Niño. It’s long, so just Elni is fine.”
“I get it, dog”.
“Yes, I’m a mad dog. The man who they call mad dog. A dangerous dog that attacks its— wait! Who are you calling mad dog!? Who are you calling a man!? Can’t you see my breasts!”
The dog became enraged by her own words.
Not that I cared, but what did she want me to do with her small chest that she pointed out?
If she wanted me to jump at them, then I, for sure, wouldn’t hesitate!
“Man, you’re so rude! Calling me dog and all— Wuff, wuff!”
The dog said wuff, wuff in anger.
“Sorry, dog. But if I’m right, El Niño means “God’s child” in Spanish, right? You want to become a god or what?”
I learned about El Niño in school.
“Like I said, I AM a goddess!”
Hum, hum. The dog flailed her arms. She was really just like a kid.
“Well, I can’t really believe it. To me you’re just a pitiful girl, who stole my hotdog and got treated to some food by me out of pity.”
“You can exaggerate a bit there, so can’t you call me a pretty girl?”
“You’re just a pitiful puppy, who stole my hotdog and got treated to some food by me out of pity.”
“P- Puppy!? My, that’s cute! You thought I would be happy if you call me that? …. I was just a bit happy.”
…She was happy after all.
“But don’t get me wrong. Don’t think I’ll always play the cute little dog. I’ll even bite my owner in anger, when he does something I don’t like!”
“Oh, what a cheeky puppy we have here. Where are you from?”
“Born in Japan and raised here and there.”
“Do stupid people actually have friends?”
Elni pointed at me with a smile and said.
I should smack her a good one.
Still smiling she grabbed my hand and shook it.
Her soft and little hand took mine and swung it up and down.
“…So back on the topic, you said you’re a goddess, but what kind of Goddess?”
“An amazing Goddess!”
She gave me a stupider answer than I expected. She was beyond help, how she could even proudly stick out her chest at that. Even though I would have bursted out in laughter if she had said “Goddess of appetite”. Letting my vision drop, I slightly nodded “Oh, sure”.
“W- Why are you averting your gaze now? A- And that dubious smile! You don’t believe me! You don’t believe me, right!?”
When I honestly answered with “Yeah”, the dog said angrily.
“Now I’m angry! If you go that far, I’ll show you some proof!”
Proof, huh? Since the girl in front of me was not only an idiot, but also a dog, she would surely do something disappointing. I felt sorry for her, so I better stop teasing her.
“It’s okay, Elni.”
“It’s not Elni! Call me Mad Dog!”
So she liked that, huh.
“Well, calm down. Here, pudding. Eat some pudding.”
“Yay~ Pudding~ Wait! You don’t believe me, do you Shinobu?”
“—Who said you can refer to me so casually?”
“Ah, I’m sorry—- wait, isn’t it fine? You just called me Elni too, Shinobu. Names are a quick way to deepen one’s friendship, aren’t they?”
“The deepening part aside, you said you would show me proof, but you won’t suddenly start some rain ritual, would you? It would trouble others around us.”
“I won’t do that. If I made it rain, you would have to go home drenched, since you don’t have an umbrella with you. I’m grateful to you, who treated me to some food. So I’ll do something nice for you.”
Mh? Nice, huh.
“Mh? You want something perverted? Have you already falling in love with my dynamite body?”
I affirmed that with a short smile to Elni, who took a pose like a model and gave me a wink.
She was indeed slender and had a nice figure, but for some reason she only looked like an idiot to me.
I saw some disappointment in her eyes, but not minding it, I continued.
“Well, jokes aside.. So, what are you going to do for me?”
Elni was depressed, but upon my words, she nodded with “O- Okay” and pulled something out of her pocket on the front of her hoodie.
It was a huge flier. How did she keep it in there? Was her pocket connected to the fourth dimension or what? Quite an intriguing question.
Elni shoved the flier in front of my eyes.
On the flier was written “Give you, Guardian Spirit” in big letters.
“At least write Guardian Spirit in Kanji. You spiritual impostor.”
“N- No good, right off the bat? And I even get called impostor! I’m angry! But I’m tolerant, so I’ll forgive you! And because you gave me food, I’ll give you a special discount on the initial 1000yen! Half off! 500yen! A real bargain!”
I put my hands together like in prayer and answered her, who seemed to be giving me a great service.
“Yeah, my Goddess. Please have mercy on me. Some Mad Dog had a real feast at my expense, so I only have 100 yen left on me.”
“Y- You have s- such a big heart. As a Goddess, I’m moved. Yes, moved! That’s why it’ll be for free this time. Yeah, I’ll charge nothing.”
Guess she felt guilty. Elni averted her gaze and started to sweat.
“Oh, for free? But you kinda creep me out, so I’ll pass.”
Maybe she received a shock, but after she groaned an “Ummh”,
“Shinobu! That’s as far as your mocking goes! I’ll give a part of my divinity! I repay a favour with a favour! I’ll make you super, mega happy!”
With a bump she suddenly stood up from her chair and started to take some nonsensical pose while shouting “Hah! Fuh! Toh! Transform!”
Obviously, all eyes in the restaurant were fixed on her.
When Elni completed her suspicious pose, she extended her right hand to me and shouted,
“Dear costumer, you’re bothering the other people.”
She was lectured by the waitress.
Elni cried a sad “Brah…”
“I’m sorry. She had a traumatic experience at a family restaurant before, so she sometimes has fits now.”
I couldn’t bear the sight of the helpless Elni and made an appropriate follow up for now. Then the waitress made a sad face, as she believed my lie.
“…Is that so. Miss, do you want a melon soda?”
“Yeah, I do.”
In an instant Elni sat down in her chair.
By the way, the waitress gave Elni and me a melon soda with the words “It’s on me.”. She was a good person. I’ll come here again.
After happily drinking her melon soda, Elni started talking to me.
In the blink of an eye the cup was empty.
“You think of me as an annoying girl, right?”
What was she asking the obvious for?
“That impression will be completely gone after a few days. Listen…”
“Ehm, sorry to interrupt your happy story, but you have cream on your cheek.”
“Get it off.”
Elni swiftly moved her face closer. There were a lot of things I wanted to say, but I would resemble someone in my family then, so I just got the cream off silently.
The glutton she was, Elni started licking the cream from my finger, just like she did before with the rice grain. Geez, not even my sister Nazuna, who said the same stuff as her, was such a glutton.
“Ohay, ther i shomething I want to gif you.”
“I told you not to speak while licking my finger. I have no clue what you’re saying.”
Her lips had a tight hold on my finger.
The more she licked and sucked my finger with her tongue and lips, the more of a ticklish feeling I got.
When she finished licking my finger clean of any cream, she once again crinkled through the pocket of her hoodie in search of something.
“…Oh, found it. Here.”
Elni pulled out something from her pocket and presented it to me.
It was a silver-blue coloured ring.
“Here, take it”.
Elni took my left hand and put the ring on my ring finger.
‘Why are you putting it on my ring finger?’, crossed my mind, but… I just looked down at the ring.
I was no expert, but the ring sparkling silver and blue, looked really expensive.
“…Can I really take this? It looks pretty expensive? I feel bad taking this just for treating you to a meal.”
“Don’t worry about it. I made it out of empty cans that I collected during a volunteer cleanup in the city. When you wear it, a guardian spirit will come down to you. With the right wavelength, you might even get a really incredible guardian spirit. The charm I did for you earlier was for that too.”
Elni told me “With that, you can enjoy an ultra happy life now, Shinobu.” with a smiling face, but…I looked at the ring once more.
It really didn’t look like it was made out of empty cans.
“Is it really okay?”
“Of course. I’m a Goddess after all. I’m so generous.”
“A Goddess is really incredible. Try flying in the sky for a bit.”
“Sure thing. Nraaah!”
She energetically jumped up and down on the spot.
She was just jumping, not flying at all.
“…The Goddess ate too much and can’t move.”
Elni was energetically jumping before, but suddenly she was covering her mouth with her hands with a sick expression.
Pitiful gazes were concentrated on Elni.
“Stop! Don’t look! Don’t look at her!”
While rubbing the back of Elni, who was still covering her mouth, I shouted that.
After resting at the family restaurant for a while, I split up from Elni.
When I told her that I would treat her again when the opportunity presented itself, Elni’s eyes sparkled with “Tell me your cell phone number”, so I told her. Elni herself didn’t have a cell phone, so it was for contacting me when she was in a food emergency.
“….But a guardian spirit, huh”
Riding my bicycle homewards, I looked at the ring Elni gave me.
I was not so naive as to believe her story, but I thought it wouldn’t be too bad if something nice happened and then I reached my home.
It was quite sudden, but yesterday at the family restaurant I thought that something nice sounds somehow erotic, but…. just what was this? Certainly, I hoped that something nice would happen, but this exceeded my expectations by far.
Let’s confirm the situation.
A quiet morning, where I woke up even earlier than my alarm clock.
When I opened my eyes—- An unknown blonde girl was sleeping besides me.
“Wh- What’s this?”
Why was a blonde girl sleeping in my bed? Who was she? Actually, just what had I done?
….I had no clue. All that I could desperately remember from last night was that I diligently completed my homework and went to sleep.
N- No, wait.
Maybe I just didn’t have the memory of it, but I actually went into the city late at night and assaulted the girl based on my instinct? Her blonde hair was right down to my personal preference. What had I done. I was shivering in fear of myself—-when another tragedy befell me.
“Brother, it’s morning, Yo! Yo!”
KNOCK KNOCK. After a sudden knock, I could hear the voice of my little sister, Nazuna.
She was having a blast with her “Yo! Yo! Check it out!”
But I couldn’t care less about that. The problem was my current situation. On my right, a blonde girl. Peeking down, two bouncy and soft fruits.
No matter how you think about it, I was in a situation that would be misunderstood.
“Brother~ It’s morning~ Really~ I’m not lying~ Indians don’t lie~”
Yes, it’s always the white who lie. I didn’t even have the time to make such an affirmation. Please someone stop her. Stop Nazuna, who’s happily knocking on the door with a 16-beat rhythm.
“Brother, I’m coming in~”
Not good. No, stop, idiot, noo, nuuu. I was trying to voice my protest, but my mouth only opened and closed like a goldfish and didn’t let out any sounds.
What should I do? What could I do?
For no reason, I looked anxiously all around—-Then I realised it.
“Oh right. I just have to hide her.”
If I just cover her with the blanket from head down, the blonde girl will be perfectly hidden.
A perfect plan.
Clapping my hands with that insight, I reached out for the blanket to hide the blonde girl beneath it, when suddenly,
A lovely voice escaped from the mouth of the blonde girl and she opened her previously closed eyes.
She had pure emerald, green eyes that sucked you in.
For a moment I forgot to breathe. I just continued to stare at these charming eyes. Upon that, the blonde girl noticed me. The two green eyes that had captured me, narrowed delighted and the mouth formed a soft smile.
A beautiful pronunciation. A beautiful voice like the ringing of bells.
While holding the blanket at her breasts, the blonde girl slowly sat up. Not averting her gaze from me, she kept smiling.
Guess it wasn’t a dream after all.
Straight long hair that shone golden. Gentle eyes. Attractive light-pink lips that were shaped nicely.
—So beautiful, is what I thought. Smiling and bathed in the morning sun, she really looked like a Goddess. I wasn’t not exaggerating. To my shame, I seriously thought that. Forgetting my own situation, I was captured by the blonde girl.
But that wasn’t good.
“Brother, are you awake? It’s morning.”
She must have been in doubt as I wasn’t answering. The door knob made a clicking sound when it opened and a lovely girl wearing a middle school uniform with long hair tied up at the back, peeped into the room. Big eyes and juvenile features. A girl with the loveliness of a kitten.
That was my little sister, Nazuna. She had the same pretty features as me—-is what I believed, but people always tell me “Your evil mug doesn’t resemble her at all”.
And this Nazuna was looking my way with a smile.
“Ah, you were awake, Brother. Today for breakfast we…got…”
Around the “breakfast” part she must have noticed the blonde girl. Her bright face froze up instantly, petrified.
After an overwhelming silence, where she couldn’t say anything,
“U- UWA! B- Brother, th- that girl. Wh- Who is that girl??”
In great surprise she pointed with a shaking finger at the blonde girl.
Mm, Nazuna. I understand your confusion. But rest assured. I just thought of a way to resolve this situation. With my thumb up and a fresh smile on my face I said,
“I, Nanjou Shinobu, got a girlfriend!”
It was rejected immediately.
“H- How rude. Why would I lie?”
“I mean, Brother… you’re not popular.”
“Yeah, I admit that—Is what you think I would say?”
“You admitted it just now?”
“No! Seriously, no! To begin with, how can you say that I’m not popular? Take a close look at me. I’m handsome, right? For example, my bed hair.”
Hearing my self-praise, Nazuna kept staring at me.
Nazuna came near me and literally took a close look at me. That part of her was quite cute. And by no means stupid, in my opinion.
But it wasn’t just Nazuna, for some reason even the blonde girl was staring at me. It gave me a strange feeling. Maybe if I lowered my head and said “I’m sorry” now, they would still forgive me?
“….Certainly, you’re handsome.”
Nazuna and the blonde girl spoke the unbelievable words of approval. Th- This can’t be! ….No, wait. I was handsome. Probably. My stubble could be considered wild.
“But is she really your girlfriend? Brother, you’re strangely considerate and kind, so it’s likely you just brought a troubled foreigner with you? Mum also said ‘Shinobu is an incomprehensible tsundere, so there’s no way he’ll get a girlfriend’.”
“….Don’t tell me, you also agree with Mum?”
Upon asking her, Nazuna nodded plainly with a “Yeah”. Okay, I’ll use my two manly fists to put Nazuna’s face into a bench vise. The bench vise punishment. I clenched my fist and was about to get up when,
“Hey kids, what are you making a ruckus about, so early in the morning?. Come down already to eat breakf….”
Suddenly a third person’s voice interrupted, so I stopped my movement and looked over to the door. There stood a woman, who entered the room perplexed.
Her name was Nanjou Tomoe. Technically, she was my mother.
She was supposed to have passed into her 40s this year, but maybe because of her bragging about “bathing in the moonlight stimulates female hormone production”, she still looked quite young.
My young mother, just like Nazuna, froze up when she saw me and the blonde girl on the bed. She looked up and gave a big sigh.
“…I knew he would do it some day, but it happened unexpectedly fast.”
Wait a moment. What do you mean with “I knew he would do it”?
“Mum, just to be clear, I didn’t do anything.”
“Sure, sure. Lie all you want. I’ll go call the cops now.”
My mother pulled out the cell phone from her pocket and started dialling. Nazuna looked at the display and said “Wah! It’s 110. First time I’ve witnessed it~” with an energetic voice, but then
“—Eh, uwaa! M- Mum, stop. Calm down.”
She panicked and snatched away the cell phone from our mother.
Oh, well done, Nazuna.
“You can’t, Mum. You might not believe it, but according to brother, this pretty girl is his girlfriend.”
“…Shinobu. So, you can no longer differentiate between reality and dreams, huh.”
Why are you looking at me with such pitying eyes, Mum?
“I can understand your doubt, Mum.”
Nazuna expressed her understanding. But even I understood. After all, it was a lie.
“So we just have to ask the person herself.”
Nazuna faced the blonde girl.
Stoop! She’s usually so stupid, why would she be calm and logical now of all times? Now I, who was trying to fool you, am in trouble.
“U- Uhm, Miss, are you really my brother’s girlfriend?”
Nazuna shyly asked the blonde girl. Her face had written “It’s a lie, right?” on it, which pissed me off. I was in trouble. What should I do? If I tried deceive them here, it would just increase their doubt. I sent off a passionate glare that said “Please help me, Blondie. Lying is fine, just nod for me.”, but
“I am sorry. I am not Shinobu-san’s girlfriend.”
The blonde girl rejected me outright. Well, no wonder. I didn’t know what was going on, but she didn’t look like she wanted to be here. But it was possible that she could tell us what was going on. I mustered my courage and faced her again.
“Then, who are you?”
I wanted to ask her ‘What are you doing here?’, but for some reason the blonde girl blushed and answered with a smile before I could ask.
“…I am Shinobu-san’s slave.”
Slave? Somehow, she brought out a word I was not quite familiar with.
“…What did you say just now?”
Thinking I just misheard her, I asked her. The blonde girl repeated “I am your slave.” with flushed cheeks.
A cold sweat run down my forehead.
A really oppressive silence hung over my room.
Totally ignoring the atmosphere, my alarm clock went off with an electronic ringing.
I stopped it right away.
“…I have to practice with my abacus now, so if you’ll excuse me.”
Escape was the best solution. I swiftly got up and was going to initiate my escape.
Of course they wouldn’t let me.
The Nanjou household had an early morning emergency meeting. My mother, Nazuna and the blonde girl were sitting at the table in the living room, while I knelt on the floor. By the way, my father was away on a business trip in some country. Also, our cat wasn’t here either, since she went with my father.
Thus I had no allies to rely on. Technically Nazuna was my ally, but she was stupid and therefore of no use. Worried about me, she had given me a cat plush toy, but what was I supposed to do with it? For now, I put it on my head.
“Combine – Shinomuncat! I’m strong! Meow!”
In my attempt to flee reality, I shouted “Meeoow!”
“…What are you doing?”
My mother gave me a cold glare and I quickly took the plush toy off my head.
Scary. The next time I doanything weird, I’m getting smacked for sure.
My mother cleared out her throat on purpose and looked at the blonde girl with an apologetic expression.
The blonde girl must have sensed the tense atmosphere, since her expression became serious.
But there wasn’t any tension in her clothes.
The loose white T-Shirt was sticking to her body, but the long sleeves were covering half of her hands and below the T-Shirt’s hem, her white tights and long legs were troubling for your eyes.
Right now, she wasn’t wearing a skirt or pants, just my T-Shirt. There was a reason for it.
It seems she was wearing underwear when she was in my bed.
But since I was thrown out of my room immediately, I haven’t seen it. A real shame…. Well, seeing as she was on my bed in only underwear and her clothes are nowhere to be found, it meant…This was only leading to an improper delusion.
I could agree with why my mother was making an apologetic expression.
“I’m Lunallena. Please call me Luna.”
The blonde— No, Luna-san answered my mother with a soft smile. But I must say, her smile really eased those who looked at it. My mother also started to smile.
“Okay, Luna-chan. I’m Tomoe. Nanjou Tomoe. And this is my daughter, Nazuna. The leftover is the Idiot.”
Why was she saying ‘idiot’ while pointing at me?
“So, Luna-chan, earlier you said you’re the slave of this idiot, but what did you mean? Let me be clear on this, the idiot is an idiot. Moreover he is…still an idiot.”
“Sh- Shinobu-san is not an idiot. He is a kind person.”
Luna-san defended me, who was supposed to be an idiot.
“Shinobu-san told me that he ‘wants’ even someone like me…”
Impressive, Shinobu-san. Even Shinobu-san was surprised. Mother and Nazuna were surprised too. So surprised that they both spat out the tea they were about to drink at the same time.
“Shinobu-san said ‘I’ll make you happy, so stay by my side’ to me. I was really happy.”
Luna-san frenetically went on with her story, ignoring my mother and Nazuna, who were nearly suffocating.
“That is why I wanted to take care of Shinobu-san—”
“W- Wait a moment.”
My mother stopped Luna-san by lifting her open palm, then she glared at me fiercely.
“Shinobu….Is that true?”
“Shinomun doesn’t know!”
Once again putting the cat plush toy on my head, I tried a cute approach.
I thought I might fool them with my cuteness, but it was no good at all.
My mother silently grabbed one chopstick from the table and threw it at me with a big swing.
“Uwa, that’s dangerous!”
I promptly took the plush toy and protected my body with half a turn from the chopstick that came flying at me at an incredible speed. That was close. I would have been gone for, if I hadn’t combined into Shinomuncat. I shuddered looking at the cat plush toy with the chopstick sticking into its forehead.
“Answer me seriously. And don’t dodge it.”
“Don’t dodge? Are you crazy? Besides I don’t remember anything. I have no memories of it.”
When I said so,
“U- Uhm, Shinobu-san…. you do not remember at all?”
Luna-san was looking at me with teary eyes. Emerald green eyes that showed a seriousness that I didn’t expect. Not being able to look her in the eyes, I unknowingly averted my gaze and said.
“Sh- Shinomun doesn’t know!”
Aw, I’m the worst.
Luna-san’s shoulders drooped in disappointment.
“You’re the worst.”
My mother said in a tone cold as ice.
“You’re cruel, Brother”
Nazuna gave me a criticizing look.
“Really, Shinobu-kun is the worst.”
I spoke to the cat plush toy like it didn’t concern me.
….Obviously I was hit by my mother. It was just a light joke.
“U- Uhm, please…. do not bully Shinobu-san.”
After seeing me getting hit, Luna-san grabbed my mother’s sleeve and begged meekly.
“Hoo. So you’re going to defend this idiot.”
My mother looked at Luna-san with an astonished expression. Luna-san looked back at my mother with a serious face.
“You’re a weird girl. For defending this idiot.”
My mother gave off a small sigh, then gave a funny smile and said.
“Fine. Do what you want. I’ll give you this idiot, Luna-chan. For, let’s say 100 yen?”
What a thing. Human trafficking was happening right before my eyes.
“Y- You cannot buy Shinobu-san for just 100 yen. Rather, you cannot buy him with money at all.”
Luna-san made a slightly angry face.
“Mhm~ Not with money, huh. Good, I like you. I’ll give you him for free.”
My mother nodded generously and continued.
“….By the way, Luna-chan. You seem to be a foreigner. Do you have a place to stay at?”
“E- Ehm, as embarrassing as it is, I do not…”
Luna-san said vaguely.
“Then just live with us. We have an empty room. Consider it your own. Seems our idiot has caused you some trouble. To be honest, if you were to go to the police, my son would be done for.”
That was when my mother faced me and said.
“As you can see, you belong to Luna-chan now.”
“…Even if you plead on the letter of indulgence called love, treating a person like a commodity is unforgivable—-I oppose human trafficking.”
I struck a cool pose and even said some amazing phrases, but my mother ended all discussion with a hit. To be honest, wasn’t this too cruel? When I hugged my knees and was shuddering from the injustice,
“U- Uhm, is it really okay? To let someone like me stay here.”
In this unbelievable situation, Luna-san was looking at my mother. My mother went with the flow and answered “Yeah. Keep an eye on this idiot so he doesn’t commit any crimes” while looking at me.
“Th- Thank you very much. I will do my best. At all costs.”
Luna-san showed a happy smile, stood up and bowed down. Not that it matters, but “At all costs” sounds a bit erotic. Ufufu. I’m just no good.
But I wasn’t the only one who was no good.
Without me noticing, my mother had hugged Luna-san and was patting her head. Sure, her smile was so cute that it makes you want to hug her, but a hug out of nowhere goes too far. Also, Mum, why are you extending your right arm towards Luna-san’s bottom and starting to caress it too?
I- It’s not like I’m envious or anything. Thinking that, I kept staring at them, when
“Huh. What are you staring at, Shinobu? Go to school or wherever.”
“Y- You’re so cold. I haven’t eaten my breakfast yet, you know?”
“You’ll be late, so give up on that. Geez. Nazuna was eating hers, just what were you doing?”
“Some devil was making me kneel on the ground and kept hitting me.”
“Such a cruel devil. C’mon. Leave Luna-chan to me. Hurry up and change, then get to school.”
There was a lot I wanted to say back, but I had no time. At this rate I was really going to be late.
I stood up with a sigh when I met Luna-san’s eyes.
Luna-san said “Take care of me” while lowering her head, but I didn’t answer. It wasn’t because I was embarrassed. It was just too strange. I didn’t remember anything about last night. Because I didn’t remember…. I was strangely bothered by it.
With a groan I got ready for school.
On the road leading to school, soon after we left the house, Nazuna, who was besides me, said with a smile,
“Luna-san sure is pretty.”
“She sent me off with a pat on my head~”
“Good for you.”
When I just gave short replies, Nazuna looked at me.
“…Brother, what are you angry about?”
And asked that.
“I’m not really angry. Just worried.”
Mimicking me, she made a doubtful face.
I sighed thinking it must be great to be stupid.
….But to think she would let an unknown foreign girl stay with us just like that. When I headed out for school, my mother only told me “No problem” with a bright smile, peculiar for an adult, but I couldn’t see any reason in her words.
Actually, did I really shout some crazy stuff like “Gahaha! The great me desires you!” and took Luna-san home with me? I had no memories of it at all.
“By the way, Nazucat”
Nazucat replied full of energy and clung to my arm. It would be better if she fixed her habit of clinging to others already, but for now I’ll let it pass.
“Nazucat, when did you wake up today?”
“At 6~ I fetched the newspaper~”
“Fetching the newspaper is your job after all, Nazucat…..So, when you fetched it, was there anything strange about the front door lock? Like, was it broken? And were our shoes moved?”
“Mhm~? It was like always?”
With a happy expression, Nazuna was pressing her cheek against my arm. Mh, looks like she’s telling the truth. But that eliminated all possibilities that Luna-san came to pay me, the handsome guy, a night visit. Rather, it was more logical that I brought Luna-san into my room. Both the front door lock and the lock on my window were locked. It’s a mystery, Sherlock.
“….Huh? Brother, you’re wearing a ring.”
I was deep in thought, when Nazuna, who still had her cheek pressed onto my arm, suddenly raised a surprised voice. Then she took my left hand with a face full of curiosity and stared at the ring on my ring finger.
“Where did you get this?”
“From a weirdo.”
I answered while I remembered the Albino girl Elni, who I met yesterday,.
“….Brother, did you go to grandpa’s doujo?”
Nazuna made a wrong conclusion. But it was understandable. At grandpa’s doujo that was three stations away from our house, were a lot of weirdoes. After all, the Vice-Instructor wore an afro. What’s more, our grandfather was the Head-Instructor.>But being trained by Grandpa, who was being called the “Living Legend” by some people, makes the guys of the doujo really strong.
Since I was small I had been learning martial arts from my grandpa, but there were still people who I couldn’t beat. Even yesterday when I fought with the Afro Vice-Instructor, he told me “My Afro is actually a wig, yo!”, whereupon I dropped my guard in shock and was beaten. Even though I was so close to beating him.
“But it all turned out well, didn’t it, Brother?”
“…Mh? What did?”
Yesterday I lost to the Afro, today I had lots of trouble already in the morning. Not good at all. I took off the ring that I got from Elni yesterday from my left hand and put it on my right hand’s ring finger, thinking it might have some kind of effect, whereupon Nazuna looked at me and smiled.
“I mean, you got a girlfriend.”
It seemed Nazuna already saved Luna-san as my girlfriend in her brain.
“But, Brother, don’t become high-spirited now just because you got a girlfriend.”
It certainly didn’t feel like I had gotten a girlfriend, so I just nodded vaguely. Then Nazuna pulled on my arm and said.
“Don’t forget to play with me too, okay? I’ll run to seed if you don’t give me any attention.”
“Hey, hey, that sounds terrible. By the way, what will happen to you when you run to seed?”
“Mhm~ I’ll get picky. I won’t eat pumpkins. Also, I’ll bite you on three days of the week. And quite hard!”
“Scary. You’re scary, Nazucat. You’re extremely bad. BAD Nazucat!”
Nazuna suddenly spread both her arms menacing. While I thought that her running to seed wouldn’t pose any problems, I walked together with Nazuna on the road to school…
“Later then, Brother”
“Yeah. Don’t sleep in class.”
On the street where we parted, I stopped and briefly waved my hand at her. Nazuna then bowed slightly with a “Meow”. After I saw her running off at full speed, I resumed my walk towards school, when
I met a girl by chance.
Long straight and black hair. Wilful eyes. Dignified eyelashes. She was beautiful, but gave off a strong aura. That would be best to describe her. But even her clothes couldn’t hide her voluptuous breasts, firm waist and long legs that could capture any man on earth. It was Gogyou Hijiri-san. My classmate. Because of her beauty she was quite popular with the boys, but she was even more popular with the girls. A straight back, bright eyes and a smooth bridge of nose. Since she was part of the Kendo club, she was always carrying a bamboo-blade pouch in her hand, which only added to her strong appearance.
“Good morning, Nanjou-kun.”
Recognising me, Gogyou-san gave me a refreshing morning greeting.
“Ah, good morning.”
I also replied refreshingly. I wasn’t on such good terms with her that would allow me to start up a conversation now with “I had a bullshit dream last night! Fuck!” with my middle finger erected. That’s why I thought she would just greet me and then walk past me immediately, but surprisingly she got closer to me, looked at my face and said a single word.
Gogyou-san made a severe expression for some reason. For the record, I was deeply, very deeply hurt.
“I’m…. going home. I’ll take a bath, put on some of my mum’s perfume and come back again.”
“Ah, n- no. It’s not like that. I didn’t mean that kind of stench, but, ehm, more of a bad vibe-like stench….”
“I’ll go hang myself. I’ll write in my testament that ‘I was sad since Gogyou-san told me to die because of my bad smell. Please discuss that in class.’ ”
“N- No! You don’t stink, so don’t do that!”
Gogyou-san followed up in a panic.
Just stop it. I don’t need any pity. One is immune to one’s own smell. Without a doubt I, whose memory was vague about yesterday, produced a smell that wasn’t to Gogyou-san’s liking. I was sure I was stinking. But, I wished she hadn’t said it so direct. I was hurt.
“Bullying isn’t cool.”
Mumbling that sadly I started walking away.
“Wha. N- No. Th- That wasn’t what I was—-Ah, wait, Nanjou-kun”
Gogyou-san quickly lined up besides me and said “You don’t stink.” I sped up, so that I was running now. Gogyou-san matched my pace and said “Don’t worry, you don’t stink” while showing me a smile. You’re nice, Gogyou-san. I could understand why she was so popular.
Watching her big breasts, who swayed at each step, I felt a bit guilty.
The moment when the chime heralded the end of the fourth period, I pulled out my lunch box, opened the lid, grabbed my chopsticks and shoved my fried side dish into my mouth while my teacher gave me a wry look with wide-open eyes. Maybe because I skipped breakfast and was quite hungry, but it tasted wonderful. So good, I was drooling.
“Uwa, you’re already eating. Class only ended seconds ago. The teacher is still here, you know? And he’s even looking at your fried stuff with sparkling eyes.”
I heard an astonished voice, so I raised my head. In front of me stood ugliness in person. Its name was Asada Kouta. Strangely enough the girls appraised him with “Just his face is nice”, but ugly suited him just fine. And this ugliness – Asada Kouta was a plain idiot.
Yes, Asada Kouta was half made out of idiocy. The other half was a sister complex. And his appearance was coated with perversion.
“Let’s eat together.”
Asada and me were buddies that have eaten together since 10th grade. Like always he put his lunchbox on my desk and opened the lid. I watched Asada, who peeked into his lunchbox and exulted “Today I got fried prawns!”, then asked.
“—So, Asada. How’s it going lately?”
“Well, not that I really care.”
After I interrupted him, he gave me the reasonable protest of “Then don’t ask!”, but I simply ignored him. What else was there to do. After all no one seeks information about a guy.
“Anyway, Asada, my story is more important.”
“Eh, so cocky….”
While complaining Asada prompted “So, what is it?”, so I answered.
“You know, Gogyou-san was—-”
With a surprised face Asada interrupted my glory tale.
“It’s rare for you to talk about a girl.”
“Really. You hardly ever talk about them.”
For some reason Asada got serious and went on.
“You, who hardly ever speaks of girls, mentions Gogyou-san’s name out of the blue. That’s when I, the dandy Asada, noticed it.”
The dandy Asada, who wasn’t a single shred dandy, pointed his finger sternly at me and said.
“You fell for Gogyou-san!”
“No, not at all.”
When I answered him while pleasurably chewing my fried eggs, Asada’s shoulders drooped for some reason.
“I was wrong, huh. A girl who can melt your frozen heart has yet to appear…. And here I was all happy to talk about a girl.”
Asada, who loves girls because of his sister complex, made a sad face.
“You really don’t care about girls, do you.”
“Mh? My curiosity for the female body couldn’t be any greater, you know?”
“That’s not what I meant. Don’t you want to date a girl?”
….Date, huh. It’s not like I never thought about it, but there were just no opportunities, so I couldn’t help it.
I didn’t know why, but I hadn’t fallen in love with anyone since 5th or 6th grade.
I repeatedly thought stuff like she’s pretty, she’s cute, she wears such a short skirt or she has such big breasts, but nothing that I would call love.
I hadn’t been like that from the beginning. I had a crush…or at least I thought so. I didn’t remember it clearly.
It probably wasn’t such a sweet memory. I’m sure it was a memory that I didn’t want to recall. I got rejected anyway or something.
“…Hey, you were just thinking about Gogyou-san, weren’t you?”
While I was deep in thought, Asada came to some kind of misunderstanding and approached me with “Speaking of dating made Gogyou-san appear in your mind, right? I can tell by looking at your face. So you actually loved her after all, right?” He was a pest, so I shut him up by poking my fingers in both his eyes.
He then shouted “My eyes! My eyes!” while pressing his hands on them. After that
“S- So what about Gogyou-san? You have some business with her or what? I hope a ruffian like you gets crushed by her.”
He said something rude with a piercing tone.
“…How rude of you. You think I could be beaten up by Gogyou-san?”
“Where does that confidence come from? Don’t get so arrogant just because you’re strong from doing a bit of martial arts.”
“Huh, don’t look down on the Nanjou School of the mental moon-state water.”
“I don’t really get it, but it sounds strong. But Gogyou-san is quite incredible too, you know? She’s always carrying around her bamboo blade.”
“Yeah, in preparation for a sudden ambush.”
“No. She’s in the Kendo club. She’s really strong. I heard she’s on a national level.”
Reminds me, I overheard some stuff about her being quite successful at the Kendo club.
According to Asada, Gogyou-san has quite a few heroic tales outside the Kendo club too, like rescuing girls, who are troubled by persistent flirts, in town.
“If you wreak havoc, I’ll go tell Gogyou-san and have her eliminate you.”
“Shut up, bastard.”
“Kyaaa, save me, Gogyou-san!”
When I raised my hand, Asada screamed in a girly voice and sought help from Gogyou-san.
Gogyou-san was in the middle of eating her lunch when she was called, yet she put away her chopsticks when she looked, stood up and elegantly came over to us.
You don’t see a person, who looks beautiful just by walking, every day. Is what crossed my mind.
“You two, fighting isn’t good.”
Gogyou-san stood in front of us and gave a warning.
“Sorry. Asada wouldn’t shut up with his ‘I want to touch Gogyou-san’s breasts! I want to knead them!’ So I couldn’t stop myself…”
I made up a lie on the spot. Asada was shocked. Gogyou-san was hiding her breasts with her arms.
“…A- Asada-kun, please don’t even joke about that.”
“N- No. No, no! You’re wrong. It wasn’t like that. I didn’t say that. Nanjou made that all up. Don’t believe him.”
Asada was desperately making excuses to Gogyou-san, who had slightly red cheeks.
“That’s crude, Asada.”