“Congratulations! It’s a healthy baby boy!”
The moment my vision burst, I think I heard something like that. Huh? Eh, what? I looked around in panic… Above me is surgical light head, and below lies linoleum flooring. A woman in surgical uniform… Hospital, an operation room? So I DID turned vegetable.
Did I just wake up for the first time since that accident? Why am I getting lifted up? Is this woman so strong that he can lift an adult man like me? Oh no… Don’t tell me…
The worst imagination crosses my mind.
Don’t tell me… I lost my limbs during that accident? Surely that would make a human body much lighter… Could it really be… Ouch! Hey, what are you doing, it hurts! Hey old hag! Why are you slapping my butt?! Stop before I stop you myself!
“Doctor, the child, he’s not responding”
I can hear the voice of the nurse (probably middle-aged judging from her voice) that keeps on slapping my butt. It’s not my hobby for responding to butt-slaps from an old hag! The female doctor besides her is also staring at me as she gives out instructions.
What the hell! What is it! I’m busy trying to figure out my situation!
Now the female doctor starts slapping my butt too. Oh damn… I’m starting to think this might not be so bad… No, no calm down, myself, calm down. That’s just not right. In the meantime, they didn’t stop slapping my butt. Okay… I get it…
“Ogaaaa! Ogaaaaaaa! (I said I get it, damn it!)”
A possibility that’s so unscientific, that I failed to figure out in that soothing space. It’s something so absurd that I thought it only exists in novels or fairy tales.
Seems like, I got reincarnated.
“Here ma’am, hold him in your hands”
The female doctor passed the little me to a woman who I presumed to be my mother. Hey, hold me gently! Hold me like how you hold a newborn chick! Don’t hold me so strongly! Ah, It’s just alright! Hmmm… this woman… this person is my mother? She’s not incredibly pretty, nor she’s ugly, she’s just a normal woman. But somehow, she looks happy. Well, since she’s holding her own child, there’s no way a woman would hold her own child while maintaining a grim face, right?
Hmm?
Looks like she’s getting flustered?
Aaaah, she’s getting worried because I’m not responding.
What should I do, I don’t understand what I should do in this kind of situation. Ok, let’s just put on a smile…
“Kyah, kyah”
Oh, she smiled! My mom smiled! Looks like I made the right move. But what should I do now? I know it’s no use thinking too much about it, but I’m mentally an adult, so it can’t be helped. Anyway, my butt hurts, and I’m tired from all the crying… so let’s just sleep for a bit.
I’ll start inspecting my surroundings after I wake up…
「~~~♪~~~♪」
I was awoken by a voice. It sounds so warm and comforting. It feels like I’m back in that soothing place… So that’s it! It was inside my mom’s womb…
I see, no wonder it feels so comfortable. It’s a place just for me after all. Hmm? I can still hear that voice. When I open my eyes, I can see mom holding me with a gentle smile, singing a song. Is this… deutsch? The pronunciation is bad, but still comprehensible. It’s a lullaby, or something similar. Did she know that song, or did she learned it just for me…? Either way, I can’t thank her, neither can I give a clap, so I’ll just smile at her.
「Kyah ♪ Kyah♪」
Nice! Look at that happy smile! See that? She looks so happy. For the time being, let’s just smile when things are not looking good. Smile can get one through most things! …Or so I hope.
After listening to mom’s lullaby for a bit more, I hear a knock. Hmm… looks like we’re in a private room. Letting a newborn baby in a private room with the mom, that’s not something you can do (read: afford) everyday. This probably means that I was born in a house that’s financially stable. The world is not all about money, but it never hurts to have more.
So then, who’s this old man? Getting all friendly and cuddling me roughly… Oi, that hurts. Ouch!
Hey, you’re not supposed to treat a newborn child like this! See, now you got mom angry. Oh, don’t get so downhearted. Just how much shock you got just by scolded by mom? Judging from the conversation, looks like this person is my father. Seems like he came in before, but I was still asleep. My bad pops. Well since you’re holding me, I’ll just give you a service while I’m at it, I’ll rub my face around your necktie. Wooo, look how happy he got, now he starts cuddling me again. Stop! It hurts. Ouch. Mom, it hurts! Help!
「Ogaaaa! Ogaaaaaaa!!」
I made a seemingly in-pain cries. Pathetic pops got scolded by mom again. Serves you right. But damn, this body sure got no stamina… I got all sleepy again after crying just for a bit… I should try to be awake a little bit more next ti…me…
—–Point of View : Arakawa Miki—–
After I got pregnant, I was always worried. Not about becoming a mother, but whether I can properly give birth or not. Originally, I can never hope to get pregnant with my body condition. If it was 30 years earlier, it’s definitely impossible. But with the current cutting-edge technology, it can be made possible. I consulted with my husband, Shuuichi-san many times. He told me he doesn’t need a child, that he only needs me to be by his side… I’m so happy I cried, but even so, I still want to bear the fruit of our love.
I pushed my selfish request to Shuuichi-san, to take the cutting-edge medical technology and as the result, I was able to harbor a life within me. I cherished it so much, as my belly gets bigger by the day, I sometimes find myself rubbing my belly unconsciously. And today, finally my child will be born. That moment after I endured the labor and gave birth to Kouki, I was frozen aback.
“Doctor, the child, he’s not responding”
The nurse, Takigawa-san is slapping Kouki’s bottom in desperation, but Kouki won’t respond. I can almost feel the air of the whole operating theater getting thick.
“Doctor! Please, please save my child, save Kouki!!!”
Was I able to said that properly? Could it be that I wasn’t able to speak properly out of panic and fear of losing Kouki? When the doctor holds Kouki and starts slapping his bottom, he raised his voice for the first time. I feel my consciousness fading from relief and fatigue, but I can’t afford to pass out before I hold my child in my hand.
“Here ma’am, hold him in your hands”
I held Kouki for the first time… And again, I was frozen aback.
What is this… It’s not even close to a baby’s eyes… It was like gazing at an endless abyss. The eyes, devoid of emotions, gazing back as if inspecting a guinea pig.
I can feel shivers running down on my spine… I was overwhelmed with loads of sickening emotions, as if the bottom of my heart was being slowly crushed. I was only seconds away from throwing away my newborn son out of fear.
“Kyah, kyah”
Kouki smiled. He smiled so innocently, as if he’s happy seeing me as his mother. I feel so relieved, and at the same time, I loathe myself. Until just moments ago, I felt really scared and my heart holds ill-feelings towards this child. As I awkwardly smile back at him, Kouki goes to sleep in my arms. That time, I swore to myself.
Even if the whole world would turn its back against Kouki, I will protect him till the end. I will never let him cry.
I’m singing a song with Kouki sleeping in my arms. A lullaby with gentle lyrics, that I desperately learned for this child. I can feel Kouki’s breathing pace changing… It seems like he’s awake. Did I wake him up because I was too loud? I was wondering as I turn my eyes towards him.
「Kyah ♪ Kyah♪」
He’s laughing, as if asking for me to keep singing, even though he can’t possibly understand the meaning… So I put even more of my heart into it as I continue singing for him.