What is the first memory people are able to remember? Parents and their voices would be my guess. Unless you are an orphan, in which case your parents probably abandoned you and it’s not something worth remembering.
There are 3 kinds of persons, the ones who can and will remember, those who can but don’t want to and the ones who want to but can’t.
I would place myself under none of these categories. The reason for that is my current situation.
I'm sitting in a dark room without windows and the only exit is a sturdy door, reinforced with metal stripes. I tried to force my way out but without a tooI I couldn’t do any damage that would help me escape. After the door you’d be greeted by two very friendly guards. Last time I made an act to escape they punished me more than ever, ignoring the injuries they did to me in my previous beatings.
A few attempts to run away resulted in my current body state. I still have bruises all over my body and I'm quite hurt, except for that area. Crying didn't help and it looked like it made them even more furious than normal. After a few beatings I just kept my mouth and eyes shut and endured the pain.
After my fifth attempt to break out I was locked inside a wooden cage without much room to move. I could only sit up and lay down if I curled myself. The walls of the room are made out of solid stone and the floor is construed with hay. In the beginning, the room smelled like sewage and it left no doubt about how the previous residents lived here. Over the time I got used to the smell and it vanished.
When it was about time for my body to hear the call of nature I wasn't shameless enough to bring myself to such a low level and relieve myself on the floor and ended up banging the door until someone came.
Besides getting dragged into the washroom, which was also blessed with only one exit, I had the chance to see something outside my cell. I used the washroom card so often that slowly even the dumb guards realised that I was probably scouting and gave me another beating saying/warning that I'd only be allowed to relief myself once a day.
I lost track of time but I knew it was a long time since by now my clothes were mere strips of fabric that covered my two small hills and genitalia. I wasn't given more and they looked very dirty. A long time has passed since this was washed.
I don't know where I was or how much time passed at all. My very first memory is this room; before that only blackness shrouds my memory. It wasn’t obsolete, I knew trivial facts about a normal life, like having parents or how a baby was born. These were the first two things my brain spit out. Everything that a normal innocent child would need to know to live a life, but beyond that there was nothing. I can't remember my name or age or who my parents are.
“Why can't I remember anything?”
It was for sure that my current being was far from being innocent but I had no idea what could be the reason for me to be held here. For now even a murder by my previous self could be possible.
I decided to consider everything before my blackout as being my previous self, even though I didn't know which kind of person I was.
For now all I was able to do was resent the god that brought me into this situation. But I doubt that a god, if there is one, would care about the resentment from a little child.
Time flew by, transforming probably into days. I lost track of my counting and had nothing to mark walls with to help myself.
Except for my little daily escape, I went through numbness